She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
