at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
