Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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