now i know why i became what i already was.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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