i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I got her a Nickelback box set.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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