My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
