If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
