Hey man sorry I got all grabby
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
