I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
