Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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