I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
