I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Randomize
