North Korea, Best Korea!
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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