after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
What drink are we having for lunch?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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