So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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