going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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