just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
