Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize
