And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
