i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
