Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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