I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
