So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
