The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
