I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
