i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Girls should come with a carfax report
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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