The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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