Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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