just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
