You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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