wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
