that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
