I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
