i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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