I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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