Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(641): View more from Iowa

I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.

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(432): View more from Texas

Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"

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(812): View more from Indiana

I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.

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(505): View more from New Mexico

We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.

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(760): View more from California

drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care

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(352): View more from Florida

Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.

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(803): View more from South Carolina

Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm a delicate orchid of a man.

(574): View more from Indiana

Blossoming into a fierce dragon.

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