i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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