how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
