i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
