ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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