Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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