its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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