It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
