where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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