But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
In America we eat man semen.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Randomize
