Is it normal to miss your booty call?
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
this hospital has no fireball
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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