Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
