So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
