maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Randomize
