Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Found the puke drawer
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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