he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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