don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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