Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."�
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
